Geek Table

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: My SIL is mad.
Page 1 of 1  sorted by


On the bright side.... (M)

Posts: 27174
Date: Jun 5, 2013
My SIL is mad.
 
 


So, I did a bad thing.  I was so busy last week that I didn't get to the P.O. until Saturday to mail my nephew's B-day gift.  His birthday was Sunday, he turned 13.  His gift arrived a day late.

SIL is really mad b/c nothing arrived from any of the aunts/uncles by his birthday and nobody called.  I would completely understand this, except that she doesn't call on my kids' birthdays, and the last birthday gift she sent arrived a day late, too.  Seems she made a really big deal about him turning 13, and is upset everybody else did not. 

Sigh. 



__________________

LawyerLady

- posting as LawyerLady.  If I'm posting as a Mod, you'll know it.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt




Penguin Lover (M)

Posts: 15735
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Better late than never.............at least you sent him a gift! SIL will get over it. I wouldn't worry about it, LL.



__________________
Ohioan by birth....Texan by choice!


I'm a cool kid

Posts: 22374
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Even Miss Manners would give you a pass, LL.

flan

__________________

~~ All the cool kids are insomniacs ~~



Always misinterpret when you can

Posts: 18532
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Let it go, just ignore.

If she ever brings it up again, you might just tell her you were following her precedent.

 

My sister used to call and/or send presents. None of the other aunts / uncles did, except for the boys' Bar Mitzvahs.

 

So, tell me, did he read from the Torah on Saturday? smile



__________________


On the bright side.... (M)

Posts: 27174
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

ed11563 wrote:

Let it go, just ignore.

If she ever brings it up again, you might just tell her you were following her precedent.

 

My sister used to call and/or send presents. None of the other aunts / uncles did, except for the boys' Bar Mitzvahs.

 

So, tell me, did he read from the Torah on Saturday? smile


 Nope.  He's a confirmed Catholic. 



__________________

LawyerLady

- posting as LawyerLady.  If I'm posting as a Mod, you'll know it.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt




Grand Master

Posts: 9591
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Her important life events may not be important to others. It's great that your nephew turned 13 but, it's not a stop my life moment for everyone else. She may not like it but, it is what it is.

I doubt this 13yr old sat around waiting for the mail to come and phone to ring. IF he did .. well, that household has more issues than a disappointed birthday.

__________________

My #1 Mod rule:

Bears are lovely creatures that often hibernate and are, for the most part, non-violent. However, when poked, bears can become quite angry. As such, it's always best to not poke the bear.



Always misinterpret when you can

Posts: 18532
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

She's probably angry about something entirely unrelated that she shouldn't complain about or can't control, and she's taking it out on an available target.

 

 



__________________


Life on the Prairie

Posts: 8804
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Wow! She has a special snowflake..  rofl.gif

Don't let it bother you for a single minute.



__________________

If a woman thinks she is equal to a man, she's lazy.



Angel of Darkness

Posts: 4077
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Bad, bad, LL!!!!!!! You should be ashamed of yourself!!!! biggrin

I think what you did was fine(nice even!), especially since she doesn't call and her gifts sometimes arrive late too. She'll get over it.

 

 



-- Edited by DemoniaD on Wednesday 5th of June 2013 09:15:53 AM

__________________

"The darkness that surrounds us cannot hurt us. It is the darkness in your own heart you should fear."
-Silvetris



Jedi

Posts: 2138
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

I would ignore too. She needs to grow up about it...geesh

__________________

"Tip Toe, Thru the Meanies!"



Chaos Reigns

Posts: 21823
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

My SIL is like this too. One year we had my son's birthday at a nice restaurant. We invited them. They came out and ate, even ordered a meal for the five month old, and didn't bring a gift. But god forbid you don't bring her kid a gift. People like that annoy me.

__________________

I am not afraid of tomorrow for I have seen yesterday and am living today.

 



Grand Master

Posts: 5317
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Wow, seriously?? She must have a lot of disappointments in her life if she considers this a serious problem. I haven't given my neices b-day gifts since they stopped inviting me to their b-day parties. By stopped inviting me I mean they have sleepovers with their friends or whatever instead of family parties like when they were little.

__________________


Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Sooo, do you want us to exonerate you with some high fives and your SIL is being "ridiculous" or do you want us to chastise you for bad manners? Not sure which direction i should post from.   wink



__________________

Let the World Die!



Jedi

Posts: 1498
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

flan327 wrote:

Even Miss Manners would give you a pass, LL.

flan


 Hardly. Miss Manners is pretty clear on this stuff.

 

LL owned it, and there is not much you can do but apologize.



__________________


Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

biggrin  So, let me see, if LL is guilty of transgressing manners, SHE gets a pass, but when others do it, DEATH PENALTY!



__________________

Let the World Die!



Jedi

Posts: 1498
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

biggrin  So, let me see, if LL is guilty of transgressing manners, SHE gets a pass, but when others do it, DEATH PENALTY!


Do you see dead people GaGa?



__________________


Grand Master

Posts: 5317
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Well if it is bad manners that LL was late with the gift isn't it even worse manners for SIL to expect a gift?

__________________


Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

wink Oh well, of course SIL had the greater sin!



__________________

Let the World Die!



Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Sometimes you have to learn what is important to OTHER people. I have friends who really like to receive cards. I personally couldn't care less if i receive cards but i have some friends who find that very meaningful so i make a point to send them cards because it is important to THEM.

__________________

Let the World Die!



Chaos Reigns

Posts: 21823
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

She sent a damn gift. It was a day late. Who knows. Maybe the damn post office was slow.

__________________

I am not afraid of tomorrow for I have seen yesterday and am living today.

 



On the bright side.... (M)

Posts: 27174
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

I'm very sorry the gift was late. I'm usually much better at it than that.

__________________

LawyerLady

- posting as LawyerLady.  If I'm posting as a Mod, you'll know it.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt




Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Well, damn, damn , damn! Damn it all!

__________________

Let the World Die!



Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Lawyerlady wrote:

I'm very sorry the gift was late. I'm usually much better at it than that.


 Well, if you said so, then you apologized and what else can you do?



__________________

Let the World Die!



Angel of Darkness

Posts: 4077
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Shame-on-You1.jpg



__________________

"The darkness that surrounds us cannot hurt us. It is the darkness in your own heart you should fear."
-Silvetris



Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

First, "slut shaming" and now "belated birthday shaming"! Where will it end?

__________________

Let the World Die!



Sith Lord

Posts: 13999
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

You're better than me, I don't remember birthdays without Facebook. Then it's an emergency run to Target for a gift.

__________________

Fall down seven times, get up eight. 



I'm a cool kid

Posts: 22374
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Squeakers wrote:

You're better than me, I don't remember birthdays without Facebook. Then it's an emergency run to Target for a gift.


 You missed my birthday...

flan

 



__________________

~~ All the cool kids are insomniacs ~~



Sith Lord

Posts: 13999
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

I remembered your husbands though

__________________

Fall down seven times, get up eight. 



I'm a cool kid

Posts: 22374
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Squeakers wrote:

I remembered your husbands though


 Bite me.

flan



__________________

~~ All the cool kids are insomniacs ~~



Always misinterpret when you can

Posts: 18532
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

I always call and remind the kids about Mothers' Day and Spouse's birthday. Once in a while they remember on their own.

 



__________________


Jedi

Posts: 2138
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

So you're a late package mailing floozy? For shame!

__________________

"Tip Toe, Thru the Meanies!"



Jedi

Posts: 2138
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

But seriously.....I would be grateful to receive a gift. It would never occur to me to be put out no matter when it came. What's with today's sense of entitlement? I don't like it at all.

__________________

"Tip Toe, Thru the Meanies!"



Jedi

Posts: 1498
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Mary Z wrote:

But seriously.....I would be grateful to receive a gift. It would never occur to me to be put out no matter when it came. What's with today's sense of entitlement? I don't like it at all.


 Kids tend to get excited about their birthdays ummm..ON THE DAY of their birthday.

 

One day late is unforgivable I am afraid miss manners agrees with me on this one. FOR SHAME LL!



__________________


Jedi

Posts: 2604
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Lawyerlady wrote:

So, I did a bad thing.  I was so busy last week that I didn't get to the P.O. until Saturday to mail my nephew's B-day gift.  His birthday was Sunday, he turned 13.  His gift arrived a day late.

SIL is really mad b/c nothing arrived from any of the aunts/uncles by his birthday and nobody called.  I would completely understand this, except that she doesn't call on my kids' birthdays, and the last birthday gift she sent arrived a day late, too.  Seems she made a really big deal about him turning 13, and is upset everybody else did not. 

Sigh. 


I'd say you are kind, not bad. And your nephew is very lucky to receive a gift at all. I don't give my nieces and nephews birthday gifts, just cards. I have 19 of them, it would be too much money. I don't even give my siblings gifts any more, just a card.

How entitled of SIL to take that attitude. And hypocritical.



__________________

 

I am woman. Hear me snore.

 



The beauty of life

Posts: 17716
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

She actually called you and chided you? Wow.

__________________

Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is.  Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.



Always misinterpret when you can

Posts: 18532
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

apple wrote:
Mary Z wrote:

But seriously.....I would be grateful to receive a gift. It would never occur to me to be put out no matter when it came. What's with today's sense of entitlement? I don't like it at all.


 Kids tend to get excited about their birthdays ummm..ON THE DAY of their birthday.

 

One day late is unforgivable I am afraid miss manners agrees with me on this one. FOR SHAME LL!


I've seen kids who got a LOT of gifts / toys on their birthday, and one more or less wouldn't make any difference. But something showing up a day or two (or a week) later gave them a thrill all over again. 

 

And no, no one is entitled to a gift.



__________________


On the bright side.... (M)

Posts: 27174
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

She actually called you and chided you? Wow.


 No - I got an email from my MIL.  So, she was complaining about it.



__________________

LawyerLady

- posting as LawyerLady.  If I'm posting as a Mod, you'll know it.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt




Loved by animals.
Protected by Geeks.


Posts: 2378
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Meh, stuff happens. You sent a gift. It arrived late. The sun will still rise tomorrow, and the world will keep turning. Don't sweat the small stuff.

__________________

But was it real?  Or only a dream, stranger than all dreams before it?



Chaos Reigns

Posts: 21823
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

A polite person would send a thank you note for the gift and not mention that it is late.

__________________

I am not afraid of tomorrow for I have seen yesterday and am living today.

 



Life on the Prairie

Posts: 8804
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Nobody_Just_Nobody wrote:

A polite person would send a thank you note for the gift and not mention that it is late.


 This.



__________________

If a woman thinks she is equal to a man, she's lazy.



Jedi

Posts: 4430
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Lawyerlady wrote:
I know what to do_sometimes wrote:

She actually called you and chided you? Wow.


 No - I got an email from my MIL.  So, she was complaining about it.


 Trouble. Maker.

 

And your SIL is an ungrateful bitch.

So there!



__________________

Turn your face to the sun, and the shadows will fall behind you.



On the bright side.... (M)

Posts: 27174
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Update - DH talked to SIL tonight. She is still really mad, but no longer at us. Our gift arrived, and she could see the post marked before his birthday, so she knows we didn't forget. But, she is still really mad at her other brothers because none of them remembered, even one she talked to yesterday.

__________________

LawyerLady

- posting as LawyerLady.  If I'm posting as a Mod, you'll know it.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt




Life on the Prairie

Posts: 8804
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Lawyerlady wrote:

Update - DH talked to SIL tonight. She is still really mad, but no longer at us. Our gift arrived, and she could see the post marked before his birthday, so she knows we didn't forget. But, she is still really mad at her other brothers because none of them remembered, even one she talked to yesterday.


You know she is going to be on a roll about this for the next year, right?

You have my sympathy. Your BIL's have my pity..



__________________

If a woman thinks she is equal to a man, she's lazy.



On the bright side.... (M)

Posts: 27174
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Yes, I know. And the fun part? They are ALL going to go home for father's day. So, they'll be together, and she'll have a captive audience. And if Princess SIL ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Good luck guys! Glad I'm skipping this trip. DH is taking DD9 with him for this little reunion, and I get to stay home. Too busy - yeah!!!

__________________

LawyerLady

- posting as LawyerLady.  If I'm posting as a Mod, you'll know it.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt




Life on the Prairie

Posts: 8804
Date: Jun 5, 2013
 
 

Lawyerlady wrote:

Yes, I know. And the fun part? They are ALL going to go home for father's day. So, they'll be together, and she'll have a captive audience. And if Princess SIL ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Good luck guys! Glad I'm skipping this trip. DH is taking DD9 with him for this little reunion, and I get to stay home. Too busy - yeah!!!


 LOL, there is nothing better than dodging a bullet. rofl.gif



__________________

If a woman thinks she is equal to a man, she's lazy.



The beauty of life

Posts: 17716
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

Someone needs a smack upside her pretty little princess head.

__________________

Treat a person as he is, and he will remain as he is.  Treat him as he could be, and he will become what he should be.



Always misinterpret when you can

Posts: 18532
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

Lawyerlady wrote:

Update - DH talked to SIL tonight. She is still really mad, but no longer at us. Our gift arrived, and she could see the post marked before his birthday, so she knows we didn't forget. But, she is still really mad at her other brothers because none of them remembered, even one she talked to yesterday.


Maybe they remembered, but decided not to send anything because she's an entitled, ungrateful bitch. 

 

 



__________________


On the bright side.... (M)

Posts: 27174
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

ed11563 wrote:
Lawyerlady wrote:

Update - DH talked to SIL tonight. She is still really mad, but no longer at us. Our gift arrived, and she could see the post marked before his birthday, so she knows we didn't forget. But, she is still really mad at her other brothers because none of them remembered, even one she talked to yesterday.


Maybe they remembered, but decided not to send anything because she's an entitled, ungrateful bitch. 

 

 


 I don't think any of these are mean enough to purposely take it out on DN.



__________________

LawyerLady

- posting as LawyerLady.  If I'm posting as a Mod, you'll know it.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt




Queen of Frickin' Everything

Posts: 8657
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

Ed? Ed? That is mighty strong language from you.....got a burr under your saddle? And who reminds the kids when it is Father's Day and your birthday?

__________________

it is not settled until you have beaten it with a dead horse

again

and again



Jedi

Posts: 2138
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

My mama would say....she can get glad in the same pants she got mad in. Yep......glad pants!

__________________

"Tip Toe, Thru the Meanies!"



Queen of Frickin' Everything

Posts: 8657
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

Like that saying. Never heard it before

__________________

it is not settled until you have beaten it with a dead horse

again

and again



Sith Lord

Posts: 21320
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

My aunts always call on our birthdays. No gifts ever just a call lasting less than a minute and thats it. As I have gotten older I realize how special those calls are.

Your nephew will live. Your SIL will get over it. And your nephew will not think about anything other than the fact you remembered as he gets older.



__________________

 

 HE IS RISEN!!!



Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

Well here is my "advice". Wasting time deciding who has the "worst" trangression seems counter productive to me. This type of thing is OBVIOUSLY important to your SIL. Is she being pissy about it? Yes. But, here is what i would do: Next time you see her, hug her (yeah, believe in Hug Therapy), tell her you are so sorry the gift didnt' arrive on time, tell that to your nephew and then hand the 13 yr old a nice gift like a video game or something. It doesn't cost you all that much other than another gift and you create goodwill and everyone is happy and your nephew feels really appreciated. I know nobody will follow my advice but thought i would put it out there.

__________________

Let the World Die!



Chaos Reigns

Posts: 21823
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

Really? Buy her off?

__________________

I am not afraid of tomorrow for I have seen yesterday and am living today.

 



Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

So you can just never choose to turn the other cheek and act in a generous way to someone else even if they don't necessarily deserve it? Um WWJD?  



__________________

Let the World Die!



I'm a cool kid

Posts: 22374
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

Nobody_Just_Nobody wrote:

Really? Buy her off?


 Yeah, I see it as rewarding her entitled behavior...not something I would do.

flan



__________________

~~ All the cool kids are insomniacs ~~



Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

My job in life isn't to "train" another adult. If it made my nephew happy and furthered that relationship, then why NOT do it? Everyone always wants to dig in their heels because BY GOD they are RIGHT! Well, again, WWJD?

__________________

Let the World Die!



On the bright side.... (M)

Posts: 27174
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

My job in life isn't to "train" another adult. If it made my nephew happy and furthered that relationship, then why NOT do it? Everyone always wants to dig in their heels because BY GOD they are RIGHT! Well, again, WWJD?


 Shouldn't he be happy with the gift he already received?  I'm supposed to reward entitled behavior by giving more?  



__________________

LawyerLady

- posting as LawyerLady.  If I'm posting as a Mod, you'll know it.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt




Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

WWJD?

__________________

Let the World Die!



On the bright side.... (M)

Posts: 27174
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

WWJD?


 Jesus would take the money you want me to spend on another gift for DN and use it to feed the poor.



__________________

LawyerLady

- posting as LawyerLady.  If I'm posting as a Mod, you'll know it.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt




Jedi

Posts: 3726
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

WWJD?


 set appropriate boundaries?



__________________

Breathe.  Just Breathe.



Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

I think Judas actually suggested that! LMAO!

__________________

Let the World Die!



Chaos Reigns

Posts: 21823
Date: Jun 6, 2013
 
 

flan327 wrote:
Nobody_Just_Nobody wrote:

Really? Buy her off?


 Yeah, I see it as rewarding her entitled behavior...not something I would do.

flan


 I am finding myself agreeing with flan more and more these days.

It's not about controlling someone else's behavior.  It's about not rewarding bad ones.



__________________

I am not afraid of tomorrow for I have seen yesterday and am living today.

 



I'm a cool kid

Posts: 22374
Date: Jun 7, 2013
 
 

Nobody_Just_Nobody wrote:
flan327 wrote:
Nobody_Just_Nobody wrote:

Really? Buy her off?


 Yeah, I see it as rewarding her entitled behavior...not something I would do.

flan


 I am finding myself agreeing with flan more and more these days.

It's not about controlling someone else's behavior.  It's about not rewarding bad ones.


 I'm enjoying agreeing with you these days...

Now, about that guy husker...

flan



__________________

~~ All the cool kids are insomniacs ~~



Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 7, 2013
 
 

You can all do whatever you please. Life is short. If you all want to spend it in pissing contests with other people, enjoy!

__________________

Let the World Die!



Sith Lord

Posts: 13999
Date: Jun 7, 2013
 
 

I don't think there's anything wrong with Gaga's advice. It's just advice. If it is not the way you want to handle it then don't. However you feel comfortable, you're the one who has to deal with his lady on a regular basis.

__________________

Fall down seven times, get up eight. 



Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 7, 2013
 
 

I don't know. I simply choose not to get involved with other people's drama. There was a point when my SIL was acting like a BUTT to the whole family. But, i could have choosen to feel pissed off and angry ever time i saw her or not. I would just give her a hug and chat with her like normal. I am just not going to be party to that type of thing. It isn't worth the knot in my stomach. No thanks.

__________________

Let the World Die!



Sith Lord

Posts: 13999
Date: Jun 7, 2013
 
 

Do you want to come with me to the BBQ tomorrow? :^) I am going to need some of your hug advice.

__________________

Fall down seven times, get up eight. 



On the bright side.... (M)

Posts: 27174
Date: Jun 7, 2013
 
 

If people started trying to ****ing hug me as hug therapy, it would make the problem worse. Stay out of my personal space and don't touch me. Not everybody is a hugger.

__________________

LawyerLady

- posting as LawyerLady.  If I'm posting as a Mod, you'll know it.

Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you'll be criticized anyway. - Eleanor Roosevelt




Sith Lord

Posts: 13999
Date: Jun 7, 2013
 
 

You just need the personal space hugged out of you.

__________________

Fall down seven times, get up eight. 



Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 7, 2013
 
 

We will squeeze you like a Python until you fart rainbows!

__________________

Let the World Die!



I'm a cool kid

Posts: 22374
Date: Jun 7, 2013
 
 

Lady Gaga Snerd wrote:

We will squeeze you like a Python until you fart rainbows!


 Okay, NOW I'm getting a bit scared...

You sound like you're speaking from personal experience.

biggrin

flan



__________________

~~ All the cool kids are insomniacs ~~



Sith Lord

Posts: 19511
Date: Jun 7, 2013
 
 

LOL!!!   smile



__________________

Let the World Die!

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.



Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse
Powered by ActiveBoard